This isn't original, but it seemed to go over quite well when I performed it at our church's Christmas lunch:
On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me
"I'm glad we bought a fresh turkey and a proper Christmas tree".
On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard
As we tucked into our turkey - a most delicious bird.
On the third day we entertained the people from next door
The turkey tasted just as good as it did the day before.
Day four. Relations came to stay; poor gran is looking old.
We finished up the Christmas pud and ate the turkey - cold.
On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes flurried,
But we were nice and warm inside, for we had our turkey curried.
On the sixth day I must admit, the Christmas spirit died,
The children fought and bickered; we ate turkey rissoles, fried.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love he did wince,
He sat down at the table and was offered turkey mince.
Day eight and nerves were getting frayed. The dog had run for shelter.
I served up turkey pancakes - with a glass of Alka-Seltzer.
On day nine our cat left home - by lunchtime dad was blotto,
He said he had to have a drink to face turkey risotto.
By the tenth day the booze was gone (except our home made brew).
As if that wasn't bad enough, we suffered turkey stew.
On the eleventh day of Christmas the Christmas tree was moulting,
The mince pies were hard as rocks - the turkey was revolting.
On the twelfth day my true love had a smile upon his lips -
The guests had gone, the turkey too, we dined on fish and chips!
I was sitting next to the wife of one of our ministers and she asked how I'd gone with the Nanowrimo novel this year. "I got through it with a day to spare," I said, "though it took me a couple of hours every night."
"How much did you have to write each day?"
"1700 words is the minimum."
She nearly choked on her cranberry jelly. "You can write 1700 words in two hours??"
I admitted that some days were easier than others....