Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Where to now?
It was like an allegory. Those winds that blew in the bad weather felt like a reflection of the currents that seemed to be stirring up the stagnant pond that my life had become.
Remember those bio-rhythm tables we used to consult back in the 1970s? All the different areas of my life seemed to be moving to a crisis point simultaneously. The car had deteriorated till it can only drive on flat roads. My sister's dog died. Problems at the office made me consider my job might have a limited life span.
I was chronically short of sleep and the cat keeps waking me up at dawn to feed him.
My diabetes flared up, just as it had last winter. The house needed repairs but my bank account was sinking fast.
I couldn't even change the light bulbs in my house as they burned out, due to my vertigo that kept me from climbing ladders. I was slowly being consigned to the dark. Symbolism anyone?
Was I approaching some sort of turning point, I wondered. Since my mother died, maybe I'd just been marking time. Maybe I needed some sort of shock to galvanise me into action.
Like they say, "Sometimes bad things happen because God needs to get your attention." Could be.